A letter from a new mom to her childless girlfriends.

Dear Friend,

Sorry for being MIA, as you know, being a mother is a lot of work and requires the majority of our time being spent with our children. Of course this is only natural and a given and I am super glad you understand that I haven’t texted you back right away or I returned your call two weeks later.

But please remember this: even though our priority is now our children,we still want you in our lives. We may not be able to chat or hang out as often as we used to but we still want to.

You see, motherhood can be pretty isolating. Sure, we can make new “mom friends” but it’s not always easy and it seems that mainly we make these mom friends so that our kiddos can have friends to play with.

We love the fact we can connect with women who are also mothers  in this aspect but this does not mean we want to do away with our actual girl friends that we have grown up with, that we would paint the city red with,that we would confide in, that we would get together and laugh over martini’s with,etc. We treasure those memories.

Many single/ childless friends assume that they need to step away and be out of the picture once their girl friends have kids. But this affects us more than you think. Of course our mind is 24/7 on our children but we still want to retain our identity and not lose sight of who we had build a solid relationship with.

And don’t think that now that we are new moms we don’t care about what you are doing with your life nowadays. We LOVE  to hear about your latest big trip to Europe, or that most recent date you went on and how that went, or that great promotion you received at work. We know these things are important to you and we feel you are important to us. We would love to still try to get with you whenever we can and celebrate these milestones, just as you were willing to celebrate our kiddo’s milestones by attending their 1st birthdays, Christenings, and so forth.

So please continue to reach out to us, and if you haven’t spoken to us for awhile, pick up that phone even if it’s just to check up on how we are doing nowadays.  Trust me, it would brighten up our day.

And when we also reach out to you to chat on the phone or to meet up for brunch or coffee, we sincerely hope that you would say yes, and don’t worry about feeling guilty for “interfering” with our lives now. You are not in the least bit doing so. In fact, we would be pretty bummed out that you don’t keep in touch with us, even if it has been weeks or even months since we last spoken.

And please understand that we also understand that you can get pretty busy too. We do after all live in a fast paced society and are now grown ups so we have to be all responsible and stuff. Not going to take it personally. at. all. We hear ya.


A new mom.



  1. New mom friends are wonderful and a great resource for support (and sanity) but it takes a long time to grow old friends. Those pals who were part of your lives before children entered the picture can and should remain as important as ever. This is a beautifully written “letter” to let them know just that!

  2. Chi City Mom says:

    Thank you! I hope my friends who don’t have kids read this and realize we still want them in our lives!

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